


Mystery Expert

by letsgooutintherain



Series: The Adventures of Mystery Expert and Night Alchemist [1]
Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern with Alchemy, Chimera lab levels of unpleasantness, Don't copy to another site, M/M, Swearing, Wrong Number AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-03
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:00:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 18,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26794789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/letsgooutintherain/pseuds/letsgooutintherain
Summary: One mission with a broken phone and somehow Ed ended up with a mysterious stranger on the line who just happened to know the exact thing Ed needed. He didn't know why he kept texting. He was even less sure why this Mystery Expert kept texting back. What he did know was that the bad nights were easier to handle with someone who had just as much trouble sleeping.
Relationships: Edward Elric/Roy Mustang
Series: The Adventures of Mystery Expert and Night Alchemist [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1953988
Comments: 259
Kudos: 552





	1. Wrong Number

**Author's Note:**

> A new story, right on time for FMA day. Happy 3. October.

Ed cursed his bad luck as he stared down at the remnants of his phone and then at the slowly spreading fire. One room over chemicals were stored. Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. If he didn't stop the fire the whole building would explode. There was not enough water and no fire extinguisher in sight. He didn't dare try his hand at a gas array to choke the flames. He didn't have the theoretical grasp and certainly not the concentration after that blow he had taken. 

He clapped and slammed his hands down, tried to choke the flames under concrete instead, but the floor was too thin and within moments parts of the ground gave out, raining down fire and ash on the level below. 

Fuck!

He looked around. What else? If he had a phone he could have called Al. He had a grasp on some plasma arrays. If he got the energy translation ratio right he could redirect the energy from the fire, letting it burn out despite the fuel. 

He spun around, his gaze locking on a desk in the room behind him. And the phone on it. He didn't hesitate, sprinted over, already trying to remember Al's number, punching it in with more force than was probably necessary. 

He waited, crouching low to avoid the growing smoke. It rang once, then clicked. Thank fuck.

"I need the energy translation ratio for plasma based transmutations. It's mostly wood and concrete. Tell me you've got the notes from Irden's Almanach still lying around!"

"One to 37.53 for wood, 4.67 for concrete," a rough voice replied without hesitation. The voice was male, but definitely didn't sound like Al. 

Just to make sure: "You are not Al, are you?"

"No," the voice replied and Ed shook his head. It wasn't important. He had his numbers. If the guy was right about them. To be so fast he had to have known them by heart. And Irden's Almanach wasn't a common book. Who the fuck was this guy?

"Are you sure about those numbers?"

"Yes," the guy said. No hesitation. Either he was sure, or he was lying but no matter which it was behind him more of the floor caved down and he didn't have time.

"Gotta go." He threw the speaker down and sprinted over, already losing his coat, gloves and right shirt sleeve. It was hot. Smoke curled everywhere, even down by the floor. Fuck. He pictured the array. Winry would kill him. Al too. If the guy was wrong this was going to be very painful. Two steps to the flames, one. The heat was unbearable. He clapped and slammed his hands down, hot ground under his flesh and fire around his automail.

Blue sparked. Heat seared. And the fire dimmed. And dimmed. And dimmed. 

And died. 

Ed coughed and rolled away from the residual heat. His automail was streaked black and dull and he couldn't move his fingers. The heat hadn't reached his shoulder port yet, but it had probably melted the wiring. Winry was definitely going to kill him. 

He coughed again and then started to laugh. Nine month until he could get out of his contract with the military. But somehow even without looking for the stone his missions tended to go south just as quickly as they always had. He had somehow figured that without all the fanatics looking for power and immortality it would get easier. Or maybe it was because Al, fresh in the flesh, was not up to taking on missions with him. 

Who was he kidding? Even without a stone in the mix, this asshole alchemist had been a powerhungry idiot with no regard for human life. Fuck him. Fuck all of this. 

Slowly Ed forced himself to his feet and limped over to the stairs. Everything hurt, but he had to get away from the smoke, had a little brother to contact to tell him he was fine and that a trip to Winry was in order. And he had to write the fucking report for Grumman. Fuck.

* * *

"You did what?" Al shouted, "Are you trying to kill yourself?"

"Calm down. I'll take the next train to you and Winry, it's just some damage to the wires. Everything is fine," Ed replied.

"Nothing is fine. You put your hand in a fire!" 

Ed hastily started talking again before Al could continue his lecture.

"It was necessary for the plasma array! Better than to try my hand at a gas array that's only half thought through."

"You got the plasma array to work under pressure and at the drop of a head," Al sighed, "Ed, sometimes you are incredible." There was admiration in his voice and Ed basked in it but he couldn't really let it stand like that.

"Not quite. My mobile is gone. I tried to call you over the landline, misdialed and somehow called someone who knew the energy ratios anyway."

There was a brief pause, then: "Only you, brother." There was laughter in Al's voice. Ed grinned. 

"I know. What are the odds? But anyway, I don't have a phone right now, I'll buy one in the morning and text you the new number."

"Good. And Ed, you should thank that mystery expert. And apologize while you are at it."

"Apologize for what?" Ed asked. The thank you he could understand but why...?

"It's nearly four in the morning. You most likely woke them up."

"Oh." He hadn't even thought of that.

"Yeah, oh." There was the laughter again.

"Wait, if it's four in the morning, what the fuck are you still doing up talking to me? Go to bed, Al!"

"I was waiting for your call," Al replied, "As you well know."

"Yeah, yeah. Now sleep. And write Granny a note so she doesn't wake you in the morning."

"All right. Get some sleep yourself."

"Good night, Al."

"Good night."

Ed sighed and hung up. Tomorrow he would get a new phone, but for now it was too early to do anything useful and too late to go to sleep. He could do without the nightmares anyway and tomorrow he would be with Al and Winry. He always slept better there. So with nothing better to do he could as well start the report for Grumman now. Even if doing it one handed was going to be a pain in the ass.

* * *

He caught the eleven o'clock train to Risembool with a brand new phone in his pocket. The first twenty minutes he spent setting it up like his old phone and letting Al know he could be reached again. 

Then he made a new contact and titled it Mystery Expert. Might as well do as Al had suggested, even if it was just so he could honestly say he had done it. He had a pretty good idea where he had gone wrong with the number. He hoped. 

_So. Al tells me I should apologize for waking you_ Maybe not his most spirited apology, but what the hell, the guy was a stranger. A helpful stranger. Oh, well if he put it like that. _And thank you. You saved my ass_

It only took a minute before his phone vibrated. _Al would be who you were trying to call? You are welcome ;-)_

Ed hadn't really expected an answer. Hadn't even wanted one. He didn't like strangers. Even if this stranger had one hell of a voice. He shook his head and typed a short _Yep._

A few seconds later his phone vibrated again. _So, what were you trying to do?_

What the hell? Trying? He would give the guy trying!

_Stop a fire. Also fuck you, I wasn't trying. Trying is when you don't know what you're doing_

Ed glared at the screen for good measure. So much for Mystery Expert. Bastard was more like it.

It took nearly a minute then another text came in.

_I take it you are an alchemist?_

Ed rolled his eyes. _Obviously. Also, what the fuck are you doing, keeping texting a stranger?_ He couldn't understand it. The man didn't know him any more than the other way around. Maybe Ed should just stop answering. Saved ass or not, he didn't owe the guy anything. Okay that wasn't true. Equivalent exchange. But still.

His phone vibrated. _Beats paperwork._

For a second Ed just stared. The answer was so unexpectedly normal that it startled a laugh out of him. And yeah okay, for that one, the mystery bastard deserved an answer.

_You are slacking off! :D_

When nothing followed he sent another text. _Are you an alchemist too? Or maybe a theoretical researcher?_

Still nothing. Then: _I've just been caught. The former, but if I don't stop now I'm going to be glared to death._

Ed smirked and put his phone away with a shrug.


	2. Late Nights

Ed kind of pushed the guy from his mind. He didn't delete the number because if he ever needed that kind of information again it was a good idea to have him on hand but other than that Ed didn't think about him. He had more immediate things to worry about because after four days with Al in Risembool, with Winry angrily stomping through the house after she had seen the damage to his arm, Grumman called. There were rumors of chimera work down south. Sightings of animals that didn't seem normal.

One working automail arm and two weeks later Ed stared at the ceiling of his room at an inn, job over but unable to close his eyes. Of course it hadn't just been animals thrown together, that alone would have been bad enough, but no, the guy had tried to make them more intelligent and started to throw humans into the mix. Every time Ed closed his eyes he saw mangled corpses. The asshole had never gotten as far as Tucker, the creations hadn't lived more than a few hours after the transmutation. They had died in agony.

Ed could taste bile in his throat but he was not going to throw up again. Talking to Al and Winry and Granny had helped to keep his mind off it for a while but they needed their sleep and sometime around half past one Ed had lied and said he was going to be able to sleep now. He was pretty sure Al had seen through that but had let him make his own stupid decisions.

His phone made the drum sound he had given it for text messages. Ed frowned. Most likely Al had not done the sensible thing and gone to bed.

He took the phone and then frowned down when the contact said Mystery Expert. He had not expected to hear from the guy again but right now he'd take just about any distraction. He wished this room had come with wifi, the night time tv was good only for background noise. He shook the thought off and opened the message.

_Call this revenge for waking me in the middle of the night._

Ed blinked down at that. It was true that he didn't mute his phone at night, just in case of an emergency, but the bastard didn't know that, and anyway, if Ed hadn't already been awake and if he wasn't so fucking grateful for not having to think about that disaster of a mission he would have ripped the guy a new one for disturbing his already messed up sleep schedule further. Instead he wrote:

_What the fuck are you doing awake at 3:40 am?_

And because he didn't want to make it sound as if texting him in the middle of the night was something he could do again: _You're lucky I wasn't sleeping_

_I could ask you the same_ , came the reply a few seconds later.

Ed glared at it for only a heartbeat before answering. _I asked first_

He was so not going to tell the guy he was afraid of closing his eyes. Anyway if Mystery Expert wanted an answer he would have to fucking well work for it, so he added: _And this chat was your fucking idea. You want something you give something. Equivalent exchange._

The phone stayed silent for a bit and Ed nearly regretted not telling him something. A lie maybe about having the night shift or something equally normal, just to keep the conversation going and himself from thinking too much.

Then the drum sounded again. _I get nightmares._

Ed frowned. That was not what he had expected. Neither the reason, nor that he was so open about it. And after that, how could Ed not answer in kind? He didn't want to though. It didn't matter that the guy would never be able to find out who he was and use anything he learned against him. Well, unless he was military and of an equal rank as Grumman. Gotta love military grade encryption technology. Also thank fuck that Grumman was careful about keeping Ed and by extension Al as safe as he could make them.

So the guy would never know who he was but that didn't mean Ed wanted to bare his soul to a stranger. On the other hand, maybe he didn't need to. No reason to say just how bad a night this was. He took a deep breath and nodded. An answer for an answer. Equivalent exchange. _Me too_

The phone stayed silent again and Ed grimaced. Maybe that was too much but the guy had fucking well started it. Also, now that Ed thought about it, it was an unusual answer too. He had written nightmares not nightmare. That implied a history of nights like this. And nightmares that kept one awake had some kind of trauma linked to them more often than not. Ed mentally ran through the options but there were too many people with tragedy in their lives. Soldiers and civilians both had suffered under Amestris' need to expand its borders. And that didn't even account for all the tragedy Ed had seen with mad alchemists, common crimes or fucked up home lives.

His phone pulled him from the thought. _So what do you do on a night like this?_

_Wishing for wifi_ Ed replied. Access to streaming would make distracting himself a hell of a lot easier but the w-lan in this house was a catastrophe. Tomorrow he would reach South City and that would no longer be a problem but for now he had to content himself with pre-optical fibre internet access. Or mobile games. He sighed and contemplated starting a sudoku.

_You don't have internet?_ came the reply.

_Not tonight_ Ed sent. And then: _So what do you do, except texting nearly complete strangers?_ Fuck it. Texting alone couldn't keep his mind occupied. He opened the sudoku. 

_Tv is not a good idea tonight but sometimes music helps._ Ed wished music worked like that for him but his music choice reflected his mood, not the other way around. If the mood of his music was off from his own he tended to get more on edge. 

Ed looked at his phone. If he wanted to keep this going he would need to come up with an answer. He was a little surprised how much he didn't want it to end. 

_So, is this night time texting going to become a thing?_ he wrote. Better be prepared if he needed to make sure he couldn't be woken if he had a night of good sleep for once. But if he hadn't, he realized, he wouldn't really mind the distraction all that much.

Ed frowned at himself when he realized he was anxiously waiting for a reply. When exactly had he gotten so invested in this conversation? But when his phone let the drum sound he didn't hesitate to pick it up again. 

_I don't know. Maybe._ And then another one. _Why? Are you offering?_

Ed scoffed. He was not offering himself as entertainment. _More like preparing for the eventuality_

_If you wake me up I'm gonna kill you_ , he added after a moment. He managed to find a four in his sudoku before the phone drummed again. 

_Silence your phone if you don't want to be woken._

_Yeah no._ Ed replied. Not if Al needed him. Or Grumman called with another emergency. 

_Or just silence the text messages, that's what I do._

Ed wondered if he had ever seen that option, then decided that if not, he could just make a sound file with no sound and use it as text message sound. Though, he would miss the drums a little.

_That means I get to bug you too, if I feel like it. Equivalent exchange_ , he wrote back. 

_You seem quite fond of that concept, even for an alchemist_ , came a few seconds later. 

Ed frowned. When he was younger when Al had still been fresh in the armor, Ed had believed that equivalent exchange applied to everything. You want something in life, you give something up. You want something from other people? You give them something for it. 

These days he knew life wasn't balanced. There were people who took and took and never gave back and there were people who gave and gave, some more voluntarily than others. And there was no big scale that would balance it out. Sometimes life was just shit. 

That didn't mean that equivalent exchange wasn't something people should aspire to. 

_It's a fair concept. The world would be better if everyone had to follow it_

The sudoku stared half finished at him but Ed couldn't really see it. He needed something else to draw his attention. He wished he could work on his alchemy. With where his head was at right now though, the only array that would likely hold his attention was the chimera reversal array and diving into that topic would not do his mental state any good. He did not need to think about what exactly went into a chimera and how much this alchemist had screwed it up. 

Another text pulled him back to the present. 

_Maybe, but how do you measure equivalency? Everyone values things differently._

Just like some things had no equivalency at all but Ed didn't write that back. He was not going to give even a hint that he'd had dealings with human transmutation to a stranger. 

Still, that wasn't a bad topic. It might even hold his attention enough to keep him grounded. 

_So you try your best. It's not perfect but it's sure as hell better than giving up because the world is shit_

You didn't get to give up just because you got dealt a bad hand. Or because you screwed up. Or ever really. He leaned back against the headboard and went back to the sudoku, waiting for the drum to sound. 


	3. Coping Mechanisms

Reaching South City did little to lift Ed's mood. He had drifted off to sleep in the early hours of the morning when their discussion had slowly tapered off, only to wake three hours later from a nightmare. He was tired to the bone but if he could he would have just kept on with the journey, up to Central, another train to reach East City and then a smaller train or maybe a bus up to Risembool, where Al would only be a room length away, where the air smelled of motor oil, wood and apples and generally of home. There was no better place to let the nightmares fade. 

Unfortunately he wasn't that lucky. The next train would go in the morning, which meant another night in a hotel. At least this one had decent internet. Not that he could make too much use of it. At this point he was dead tired and he couldn't afford to get sloppy because of sleep deprivation. He had made quite a few enemies and not all of them had ended up in prison. Not to mention he no longer had a never sleeping sentinel at his side to save his ass. 

Speaking of. It was still early enough, so he called Al. Maybe if Al stayed on the line until he fell asleep the nightmares would stay away a little longer. 

"Hey Ed," Al greeted. 

In the background Ed could hear Granny laughing over Winry grumbling "Not fair."

"Hey yourself," Ed replied, "What's going on over there?"

"We are playing monopoly," Al said, "Granny just bought Central Square. How are you?"

"Tired," Ed replied, "Stayed up texting last night." 

"Texting who?" Al asked. 

"The Mystery Expert," Ed muttered, "And yes, I can tell you how that happened when I come home. Mind putting me on speaker and just get back to playing?" That was a little pathetic but right now sleep was more important than his dignity.

"Or course," Al said, now much softer, "Good night, Brother."

"Good night."

He could hear that distinct sound of a mobile being set down and then Winry asked, "He still on?"

"Let him sleep," Al replied. 

It was rather telling that Winry immediately grasped the situation. Something clattered in the background, a little distorted through the speakers and then Al said "Nice. Pay up, Winry."

Ed closed his eyes and kept listening until sleep dragged him under. 

He woke panting, cold sweat clinging to him and felt like he was going to be sick. His mind flinched away from the dream, from finding Nina among the chimeras he had just had to deal with. He'd had to kill the last surviving ones. They would have died regardless but they had been mad with pain, throwing themselves against the doors of their cages. 

His mind flashed to the picture of them, one was more beast than anything else but it had been breathing all wrong and wetly even as it ran head first into the bars of its cage again and again. The other was worse. It had two heads, one human, one a tiger's. The human part had hung dead, bloody red marks all over it as if it had tried to claw it off, the tiger part had been yowling and whimpering in turn. In reality it had been a man's head, but in his dream...

Ed's stomach heaved and he stumbled out of bed and into the bathroom to throw up all over again. Shit. 

It took him entirely too long to get the heaving under control and another minute to get to his feet. He splashed cold water over his face, rinsed his mouth and then just closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against the cool mirror. There was no way he was going back to sleep. 

Well, at least this time he had internet. It took him another minute to find it in him to actually move back to the bed and a glance at his mobile told him it was not yet five in the morning. He also had a text from Mystery Expert from around 3 a.m. It simply said, _Are you awake?_

He wrote _I am now_ back before he could think too closely about it. Mystery Expert had probably gone back to sleep by now. He was proven wrong a few seconds later when his screen lit up with a new message. 

_My condolences._ From anyone else it would have felt like pity. From a guy who had been awake half the night it sounded like understanding. 

_Yeah, well, sucks to be us_ Ed wrote and then added, _This a tv night?_ on a whim. 

It took a few seconds in which Ed booted up his laptop, logged into the wifi and opened AmestrisPrime. It promptly informed him that Al had added another film to his must see list. Out of idle curiosity he clicked on it to read the summary but was distracted when his phone lit up again.

_Actually, yes. Why?_

_U got streaming? Wanna watch-_ Ed looked at the description Al had written down _-and I quote: a fun adventure film, full of lovable, sassy characters that doesn't take itself too serious?_

Sounded about right to get him into a different mindset. 

_Who are you quoting?_ the Mystery Expert wrote back, closely followed by: _And what exactly are we watching?_

He wrote we. Which was as good as a yes. It was nearly enough to make Ed grin at the small victory. _Hah. You agree. So we are watching the crimson pirate._

He followed with _And the quote is from my brother._ He hesitated before sending it. Had he mentioned Al was his brother? Should he? There had to be hundreds of Al's out there, even Al's with brothers but it wasn't as if Ed and Al had kept a low profile. On the other hand, if he behaved like it was worth keeping it a secret that would just make it more obvious that he had something to hide, so he kept it like it was and hit sent.

The reply was nearly immediate. 

_Is that anything like this Pirates of the Southern Sea series?_

_Hell no,_ Ed wrote back and then had to add _As far as I know_ to be completely honest. Normally Al was pretty good at recommending films that wouldn't make Ed uncomfortable, so he just assumed this film was nothing like it. While that first film of Pirates of the Southern Sea with the undead crew and all the bickering had been fun Ed had freaked during the second one when the sea creature chimeras had shown up. 

Al had only been minimally better off, probably on account of his armor body's limited options in terms of reactions. Even one step away from a panic attack Ed had seen how still Al had gone, how long it had taken him to hit the stop button. Knowing that Al would have most likely had episodes like that whenever he stumbled about something similar when he watched films alone had only made Ed shake worse. Al had watched a lot of films alone while in the armor to pass the nights. 

So as much as Ed appreciated a must see list of films that wouldn't trigger him, he knew it meant Al had carefully filtered them through personal experience.

When he blinked down on his phone there was another text.

_All right then, I got it up. Ready to go?_

_Yes_ , Ed wrote back and hit play. 

About five minutes in Ed had grinned against his will at least once. It was old. As in so old that it had only just managed to reach the color film stage. It was also brilliant. 

Normally he would have turned to Al and told him just that but Al wasn't there. Mystery Expert was, though. _Damn, that's old_ he sent. He wasn't sure if the guy would text and watch. Winry always complained when they talked too much during films, something about the sanctity of the film.

But Mystery Expert answered. _It's not what I expected but I'm ridiculously charmed and we are only ten minutes in_

Ed did not do charmed but he kind of had to agree. 

_I should have gotten myself popcorn_ He didn't know where he would have gotten it but this film deserved to be watched with popcorn.

 _Hah. At least I got chocolate in reach._ Mystery Expert replied.

 _Oh, fuck you_ Ed replied. Bastard. 

The guy answered with a grinning smiley and Ed rolled his eyes.

They kept texting back and forth, with comments like _They stole that scene for Pirates of the Southern Sea!_ and _Where did he get the time to built a submarine on top of everything else?_ and by the time dawn crept over the horizon Ed was in much better spirits.

 _That was fun_ he texted and then _But I gotta go if I want to get breakfast before my train leaves_

_And I have to get to work. Safe travels to you._

Ed grinned. _Don't let the paperwork bury you_

He got a glaring emoji in return and only grinned harder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Crimson Pirate is a real film. One of my favorites actually and a lot of fun. Exchange Southern Sea for Carribean and you get another real film. Whether or not you can find either on a streaming platform I have no idea though, I never actually used the namesake of Amestris Prime.


	4. Falling Into Step

The next night Ed got to spend in his own bed across from Al. He still had a nightmare but watching Al laying spreadeagled on the other bed calmed him enough to get him back to sleep after an hour or so. Al who was flesh and blood and finally free and happy. 

Mostly happy. Al had gotten the better end of the deal on the nightmare front but better wasn't good. Still, Ed was glad for small mercies, even if this particular mercy came at the cost of ... well. Al had described it as memory disconnect. He had all his memories from the armor but they lacked a certain depth now that he was back in his own body. He could see it but it also had an unreal quality, like watching a film. 

Speaking off. 

"So, what was up with texting the Mystery Expert?" Al asked. 

Ed shrugged. "He couldn't sleep and decided to annoy me instead. I couldn't sleep and decided to keep texting back. We discussed the principles of equivalent exchange. It was kind of all right, so we did it again last night, only instead of alchemy discussion we watched that Crimson Pirate film you recommended. Which is brilliant by the way."

"Yes it is," Al agreed, but then hesitated. "You know you can call me any time, right?"

"I know. And I do. It's just. Sometimes it's easier when you know the other person is in a similar situation." And there was something about being completely anonymous. There were no consequences, no pressure. And if he ever decided he didn't like their weird texting thing Ed could block that number and walk away. 

"I wish I could be out there with you," Al muttered.

"I know," Ed replied, though he was fiercely glad that he wasn't well enough yet, "Eight more month, then I'm out too."

Al sent him a smile.

"Give it a few more weeks and you can let Teacher get you back into shape," Ed added. 

Al brightened. "I called her. She's expecting me next month. And I expect you to visit."

"You just want to see Teacher wipe the floor with me," Ed grumbled. 

And that was that. 

He didn't hear from the Mystery Expert for six days and kind of pushed the guy from his mind. That was until the seventh day when he found a text in the morning. _Your brother suggest you any more good films like that?_ It had come in at four in the morning.

_There are a few on his must see list I could recommend you?_ Ed offered. Maybe the guy could use that the next time, even if it was much too late for this night.

It was a few hours later, before he got a reply. _I usually watch the original star trek series when TV is an option._

Ed had no idea what to answer, so he just let it stand like that and a day later Grumman called with another job.

* * *

The next time it happened it was Ed who texted first and for once not because of nightmare induced insomnia. Instead he was doing an old fashioned stake-out on some alchemist-cult's lair. Alchemist-cult, honestly, people went crazier every day. 

Anyway, the building was dark, nothing moved and Ed was tired and not supposed to go to sleep and if he did one more sudoku he would go crazy. 

_Please tell me you are awake. I'm bored!_

About five minutes later he got an answer. _And naturally you thought of me._

_Well yes, I don't know that many people who's sleep schedule is as messed up as mine_ Ed replied. Well, Winry had a tendency to pull all-nighters but then she was working and not texting, so that was useless. And sometimes Granny was up at five in the morning but Granny wasn't big on texting either. He wasn't really chummy with the people under Gumman's command, Teacher was very much a day person and not overly talkative to begin with, which went doubly for Sig. That left Al. Al who was hopefully asleep but who never kept his phone on silent in case Ed called. Ed tried not to. Al needed his sleep and also to be less worried.

Which led right back to this. 

_Come on, entertain me_

_How old are you? Six?_ Mystery expert replied.

Ed snorted. _No fishing for personal information, that's not how this works._

_Let me rephrase that, I might not have much of a precedent but you are weirdly chipper_

_I might have hit the giddy state of being tired. Also, no nightmare, just work keeping me up_ Ed replied.

_If you are working and bored you are doing something wrong._

_Hey I've been doing this job for ten years, I know what I'm doing and currently that means waiting and not falling asleep. Also, stop fishing, start entertaining!_

There was a short pause in which Ed scanned the dark alley again. Nothing. 

He looked back at his phone.

_Very well. Have you read that article about the inclusion of balancing elements into large scale arrays?_

Ed snorted again. That was rubbish. Well, not entirely. It worked after all it was just such a waste. _If they need to use it they are already doing something wrong!_

And they were off. 

When at half six in the morning finally something moved Ed was more annoyed about being interrupted than about the cult thing.

* * *

It became a habit, texting the Mystery Expert at night or waking up to find a text from him. Sometimes it was not a TV night and they just talked about trivial stuff or alchemy. After a while it happened during the day too, mostly when either of them was bored. In Ed's case that was mostly during train rides if Al or Winry couldn't answer. The Mystery Expert on the other hand texted usually to avoid paperwork, which nearly always ended with a text that said he'd been caught and threatened with bodily harm from a colleague, someone who Ed suspected was not actually his boss. 

And what started out as texting once or twice a week soon became a nearly daily thing. 

The guy was a bit of a dork, if his comments on the film nights were anything to go by, but in alchemy discussions he proved a sharp intellect and Ed found himself liking him, even if he was a bit of a bastard too. For the first time he wondered if he really could back out of this as easily as he'd thought. 

They stuck to the more humorous films, starting with Undercover Blues, about that spy couple plus kid on vacation in Aerugo. The Mystery Expert suggested Some Like it Hot, which Ed promptly showed to Al the next time he saw him. Then there was Ferris Bueller's Day Off, which was another one of Al's suggestions. And then the Mystery Expert brought in a suggestion from his colleague, Weekend at Bernie's, which had a bid of a morbid edge to it.

And all right, so this friendship was a little weird. Like an internet friend, only without the internet involved but on the other hand, Ed liked him. These days when he saw something funny or interesting, he'd tell Al first but he'd also tell Mystery Expert. 

And when the nights were bad they texted and carefully never acknowledged how broken they were, clinging to some stranger they had never met for silent understanding and distraction.


	5. Know Your Mystery Expert

It wasn't often but sometimes they let information slip. Mostly it was small things, like that they both didn't have parents any more.

Or that time when Mystery Expert let his location slip. It went like this:

_Know a good place to take a group of people on a sturday night?_ Mystery expert wrote. 

_That kind of depends on where you are_ Ed replied.

_I mean generally. Village? City?_ Ed added before Mystery Expert could remind him that personal information were none of his business. 

It took a few seconds, then: _Big city_

That narrowed it down. Amestris had a lot of towns but only five cities that anyone might consider big. Of course those made up for the small number by being gigantic sprawling monstrosities with millions of people living there. 

_Central_ Mystery Expert added before Ed could come up with something.

_What happened to no personal information?_ Ed wrote back annoyed. Equivalent exchange or not, he wasn't going to reciprocate on this one.

_It's not as if this tells you much_ Mystery Expert answered.

Which was admittedly true because Central was gigantic, easily trippling the population of the next biggest city. Finding a single alchemist in those close to six million people would be like looking for a needle in a haystack. 

_I already know you travel more than you are at home and you were the one who liked equivalent exchange_ Mystery Expert added.

For a second Ed just stared, stunned and weirdly pleased that Mystery Expert had thought to reciprocate like that at all before shaking it off, pulling his mind back to the original question.

* * *

It wasn't just small things though. Sometimes it was bigger. 

It was early evening when Ed's phone drummed, just as Granny had bullied him into kneading dough for a bread (two handed with an extra baking glove for the automail, with the reasoning that it never hurt to keep practicing dexterity with the automail). It took him a while to finish but Ed finally got his hands clean and looked who wanted something from him. 

It was Mystery Expert and Ed couldn't help but smile while opening the message. _This is not my day. Cheer me up?_

_Do I look like a clown?_ Ed wrote back but it was mostly habit to be contrary, he wouldn't actually mind. Which was probably why he added: _What happened anyway?_

_Did you watch the news?_ Mystery Expert replied, _That and about a hundred other things going wrong._

_Don't believe everything they tell you_ Ed wrote back and then added, _It's probably propaganda anyway_

He cast his mind back to what kind of bullshit had been on the news today. He tried not to pay too much attention to stuff that was one part real information, two parts misdirection and two parts outright lies. If he wanted real news, he'd need to dig online and not always in legal places either. Usually he let Teacher do it for him.

Today's news though... there had been something about tensions rising with Drachma. Drachma's fault of course. Ed just hoped it wouldn't escalate to war. He did not want to be ordered to the front line. Not that he was sure they wouldn't draft him even if he was out of the military. He'd made himself too useful.

_Does it matter?_ the Mystery expert replied. 

He had a point, even if people questioned these news it wouldn't change anything about their relationship to Drachma and as outrage over manipulated news went, this would not be the one to send people to the streets. Even if they did... well, Amestris was still a military state. A lot of people would be arrested and the rest would retreat cowed. It had happened before and it would again.

_I guess it doesn't_ Ed wrote. 

There was a pause and then: _Not a fan of the military?_

_Fuck no_ Ed wrote back. He had never made a secret out of that, so he didn't see the need to censor himself now. But he had a feeling Mystery Expert wasn't either. He hadn't protested against it being propaganda at least. Maybe it was wishful thinking. Which was why he added _What about you?_

That pause lasted a lot longer, until finally: _They're a mixed bag._

Which was no answer at all. But since the guy had never had a problem with having a different opinion than Ed, it stood to reason that he didn't want to leave traces of disagreeing with his government. Which also meant he was aware enough to fear them in the first place. Which translated to: Not a fan of the military.

Well then, Ed wasn't going to push it without a damn good reason.

* * *

Sometimes they offered personal things. 

It was one of the bad nights, Ed could tell from the nearly instant replies, from this not being a TV night, from the way Mystery Expert's arguments were razor sharp. Ed didn't mind that kind of arguing but where he needed something to rail against until his emotions burned out, Mystery Expert turned to cold precision. 

And Ed could have let it go. They didn't acknowledge this stuff for a reason but they were friends now, weren't they? And friends were there for each other, so he should at least ask if he wanted to talk about it? Or maybe not? It wasn't as if Ed had much experience with friendships. But that's what Al did for him. Offer to listen without any pressure behind it. And although Ed refused to talk more often than not, there were days when he did talk too. Sometimes it even helped. 

He typed, _Wanna talk about it?_ and then deleted it again. He tried _You could talk to me, if you want. But it's okay if you don't._ He deleted that too. Then: _So, I said it before but it bears repeating, I've never met anyone who's sleep schedule is worse than my own. What's up with that?_

There was no immediate answer and Ed tensed. Maybe he shouldn't have asked after all. They didn't acknowledge this stuff for a reason, though Ed wasn't entirely clear on that reason either. And then finally the phone drummed. 

_Usually it's a 50-50 chance between nightmares and old fashioned insomnia._

Not really much of an explanation but still something. And because Ed had started it he offered something in return: _That sucks. For me it's nightmares only. Usually if something triggers me but every now and then I get them out of the blue._

_That something has to be quite often_ Mystery Expert replied.

_Hazard of the job_ Ed wrote and considered for a moment if that gave away too much information but then shook his head and hit sent.

_Then get out of it!_ Mystery Expert answered. 

Ed wondered if he could find a smiley that expressed unimpressed exasperation but then just replied in words. _You think that didn't occur to me?_

He was half tempted to leave it at that but then added _I'm working on it_

Five months still to go. Because of course having a fast way out hadn't been his priority when he'd signed that stupid contract. The problem was... The problem he hadn't even told Al about because he knew exactly what he would say. _I'm not sure I can stop. Who's going to do the job if I'm not doing it?_

_Is it worth risking your mental health for that possibility?_ Mystery Expert asked.

Was it? Ed was aware that he was fucking himself up doing this job, physically as well as mentally, but he didn't trust the military to do the decent thing if they found another chimera alchemist, didn't trust them not to use the next alchemist to do human transmutation, put them to work on making more philosopher's stones. 

The truth was he didn't know what to do.


	6. First Phone Call

Working on the chimera reversal array always left Ed in a dark mood, especially when another one of his theories fell through. And this one... well, after weeks of carefully constructing it from the ground up, the whole theory had fallen apart and he'd have to start from scratch. 

He sighed and decided to walk away for a few minutes before starting again. A coffee wouldn't go amiss either. And maybe some food. His gaze fell on his mobile and he had it unlocked and a text to the Mystery Expert ready before he even thought about it. It was habit at this point.

_I hate when weeks of work on a theory turn out to be for nothing._

It was none of their usual times, so he figured he'd have to wait for a reply but he only made it to the kitchen before his phone rang. 

Up until now the only time they had talked had been that very first call but there it was, Mystery Expert flashed on the screen next to an insistent green accept button.

He picked up. "Yes?" 

"You sounded like you could use cheering up," Mystery Expert answered cheerfully, voice raised over the background noise of talking and laughter.

"So you thought you'd call?" Ed asked gruffly. Not that he was complaining but he was surprised and a little wrong footed with the departure from their routine.

"Yes!" Mystery Expert said emphatically. Very emphatically. And together with the background noise... 

"Wait, are you drunk?" Ed asked. 

"Only a little." A pause. "I think."

Ed snorted. "If you say so."

"Chief, who are you talking to?" someone called over the background noise, loud enough to come clear though the speakers. And that guy was definitely more drunk than the Mystery Expert because his voice was a little slurred. 

"That's Eva," Roy said much too loud. 

"Another girl. Leave some for the rest of us!" the same voice complained. 

"Eva?" Ed asked amused, "Is there a reason you are calling me Eva?" 

"Eva is you. You is Eva. I needed a name. You know, Consuelo. Only Consuelo doesn't work. Doesn't sound female. Now it's Eva. Eva is Consuelo is you."

It took Ed a few seconds to connect Consuelo to the female lead in the Crimson Pirate. Where the name Eva came from was still a mystery to him and also why he got to be the woman and not one of the men, if he had to be someone from a film. He shook his head. No use getting answers out of a drunk man.

"All right, Eva it is. Now, tell me you are either close to home or have a designated driver with you."

"Falman is here. He's driving," the Mystery Expert replied, "And Maes is back. Got to go." The line went dead. 

Ed blinked at his phone and sighed. All right then. That just happened. He shook his head and went back to his alchemy.

* * *

Ed grinned when he picked up his phone in the morning. _Come on up. Wakey wakey_

Followed by _Up you get mr hangover_

_Don't leave me hanging here_

_I'm brimming with curiosity sleepy head_

_Up and at em_

At around ten he finally got an answer. _Oh fuck_ He had gotten Mystery Expert to swear. Ed was proud. A few seconds later he got a second text. _I'm not dealing with this without coffee_ Another five minutes later: _I hate everything_

Ed sent a laughing smiley in return. 

And then: _So, Eva?_

_I couldn't exactly keep calling you weird night caller_

_And...?_ Ed sent expectantly.

It took nearly a minute, but then: _I play up the womanizing image_

To hide what? Ed wondered but he didn't ask. _So you named me after a woman in case anyone gets their hands on your phone? Also, how does Consuelo fit in?_

_Eva played Consuelo_

A second later: _It's also useful if I want to talk about you to people who are in the know in front of people who aren't_ In the know about what exactly? But Ed didn't ask that either. 

And finally: _At least you sound much too amused to be upset_

_Nah, woman are badass_ Ed wrote back and then: _Gotta dash. Have fun with your hangover._

_I hate you_ Mystery Expert wrote back.

Ed hesitated but then did write it. _Thanks for cheering me up. It helped._

_You're welcome :)_

* * *

It was another week before Ed decided if Mystery Expert got to call so could he. Mostly it was a question of convenience. He was bored and with half his fingers broken and his automail not really suited to work a touch screen Ed was left with either painstakingly hitting the buttons with his pinky finger or calling.

It wasn't because the reason for his broken fingers had left him shaken, wasn't because he had sent Al for some decent food and then realized he wasn't ready to be alone with his thoughts. 

The phone rang and rang. And then, "Hello Eva," that smooth voice greeted. 

Great, that meant Mystery Expert had company. "Not a good time?"

"Perfect time for a lunch break and with your lovely voice for company it will be twice as good!" Mystery Expert said. 

Ed snorted. 

"Just a second," Mystery Expert added. 

Ed could hear a voice, too far for the crappy mic to pick up clearly, just that the voice was female. 

"Wouldn't dream of it," Mystery Expert replied, voice quiet and a little tinny before coming back full force. "So, what made you call?"

"Was that your infamous colleague?" Ed asked instead of answering that. 

"That she is. She's irreplaceable."

"I believe that," Ed replied.

And just then the sound of a bell came through the speakers. But not just any bell. Ed knew that bell, knew it, because it was installed in every city big enough for a military garrison. The bell calling the troops for a drill. Ed's stomach lurched. 

Even though Ed hadn't held back his opinion on the military Mystery Expert had never given an opinion one way or the other. Now Ed knew why.

"Military, huh?" Ed asked. 

There was silence on the other end. And then: "Is that a problem?" His voice sounded light as if the answer didn't matter. Ed wasn't sure he believed the nonchalance. 

Was it a problem though? It wasn't as if he was one to talk. And as Mystery Expert had said that very first time it had come up: The military was a mixed bag. You'd get people like Grumman and people like Hakuro and Bradley. But this was still Mystery Expert. The same dork he watched films with, who fought insomnia and nightmares. Who had probably been in one of the wars, considering this new information. 

"No," Ed finally replied. Maybe it would become a problem but Ed needed time to figure out the ramifications of this before making a final judgement.

"So, what made you call?" Mystery Expert asked again.

Ed frowned. What had he intended to say before all of that had hijacked his mind? 

"You okay?" Mystery Expert added. 

And Ed couldn't think of a single lie, so: "Not really. Things went..." what? Sideways? Wrong? "...completely to hell," he finally settled on. 

"Want to talk about it?" Mystery Expert asked, voice going a little softer.

"Can't," Ed replied. This was going to hit the papers. Any details would likely give his identity away.

"But you are all right?" 

Ed closed his eyes, felt the dull pain throb through his hand. "I will be," he replied. 

There was a beat of silence, then: "That's good."

"Tell me about your day instead?" Ed asked. And maybe that was pathetic, needing someone to fill the silence for him but at the same time he got to listen to that voice, smooth, warm. He kind of liked it. 

"Sure. Though you might need a little context. Did I ever tell you about that guy you heard over the phone at the bar?"

"The one who thinks I'm Eva and you are dating me?"

"That's the one. He's another colleague, has bad luck with the ladies, and don't ask me why because his only problem is being a bit overeager. Anyway, we finally took pity on him and set him up with the sister of a colleague. Lovely girl. Shy, beautiful, intelligent, strong. He was smitten at first sight."

"And her?" 

"No idea yet. He took half the day off to meet her but now there are bets on how he's going to screw this chance up."

"How is that colleague who keeps you in line taking that?" Ed asked with a grin. From the amount of interrupted chats when Mystery Expert was supposed to do paperwork that woman reigned with an iron fist. 

"Threatened to shoot us all," Mystery Expert replied amused. 

Ed was distracted when the door to his room opened. "Brother, I brought you..." Al trailed off when he saw the phone. "Is that..."

"Mystery Expert," Ed confirmed. 

"Mystery Expert?" Mystery Expert asked amused. 

"You were not the only one who needed to come up with a name, shut up," Ed growled.

"I'll take that as a compliment then," Mystery Expert said while Al snickered, even as he pulled a carton of Xingese noodles from his bag. 

"For fuck's sake," Ed muttered. "Al, stop laughing. Mystery Expert, Al brought food so I'm going to hang up now. Enjoy your lunch break."

"You too," Mystery Expert replied and Ed could hear the smile in his voice. He shook his head and hung up, ignoring how warm that tone made him feel. 

"Since when do you two call?"

"Since he drunk dialled me last week," Ed replied but then shook his head. He had let things slide before but he needed advice. "He's military," he said. 

"Is that a problem?" Al replied in a perfect mirror to Mystery Expert.

"I don't know," Ed replied with a sigh. If he was honest with himself he had to admit that he didn't want it to be a problem. 

"Best case scenario?" Al asked. 

"He's like Grumman, trying his best to make things better from the belly of the beast," Ed said immediately. Not entirely unlikely. The man had a moral code at least. It had shown through when they'd discussed equivalent exchange. 

"Worst case?" Al prompted. 

"He's like Hakuro and knows I'm the Fullmetal Alchemist. He's just playing me." But he didn't believe that. Or maybe he didn't want to believe it. 

"Playing you for what?" 

And that was the crux of the matter, wasn't it? So far Ed hadn't given the man anything that could be useful. Sure Mystery Expert knew his mental health was fucked, but then again, it wasn't as if it could be used against him. Much. No-one wanted an unstable alchemist on their hands, so it was likely to make his discharge easier, not harder. It would be embarrassing but ultimately not something to blackmail him with either. Ed's stance on the military wasn't a secret either. 

Really Ed's only weak point was human transmutation and he'd never breathed a word about that. 

"Even if he knows who I am, he has nothing on me. I've got nothing to lose."

"Except your friendship," Al replied and Ed swallowed, conceding the point. 

Well, at least that answered his question. It didn't matter that Mystery Expert was military unless he did something Ed could not forgive. 

Al met his gaze and smiled and Ed answered in kind. He wasn't sure what he would do without his brother. 

Al pushed his noodles to him again. "Now, tell me about that drunk dial."

Ed groaned but dug into his food and told him all the same.


	7. Being Domestic

They kept calling each other after that. Sometimes for silly things, sometimes when the silence got too oppressive. More information slipped in. Mystery Expert liked his coffee with milk (urgh), had a best friend who annoyed the hell out of him (Ed had laughed about that one) and didn't have many people he considered family. 

What Mystery Expert knew about him at this point was anyones guess. He might not know anything or he might know exactly who he was. That thought still didn't sit well with Ed but objectively he knew he hadn't been careful enough with what information he'd given out. Alchemist with a brother named Al, traveling a lot. He might not be the only one of those but he would still be the first to come to mind. 

But with every call it was a little harder to remember why he had worried about Mystery Expert being military. He was still the same man Ed had talked to all along. And for better or worse, Ed trusted that man.

* * *

"Remember that friend that I told you about, the one who has a knack for getting on my nerves?"

"Yep," Ed replied. It wasn't one of his better nights and it was only tomorrow that he would reach Dublith and therefore the safety of sleeping in the same room as Al. 

"If I strangle him, would you help hide his body?" Mystery Expert asked. 

"Depends," Ed said, "Maybe you deserved being annoyed."

"I did not!" Mystery Expert replied indignantly but then sighed. "He uses it to gauge my mood."

"He couldn't just ask?"

"That implies I wouldn't lie," Mystery Expert said.

"Huh. Good point. I keep measuring relationships against the one with my brother and I tell him everything." But he wouldn't always tell Winry. Not that she didn't realize something was up anyway but unless she was really worried she left him the illusion of having fooled her. 

"I never met anyone who got along that well with a brother or sister," Mystery Expert replied, "I kind of envy you."

"Well, I don't know how the rest of the world functions without a little brother either," Ed said, "My condolences on being without an Al of your own."

Myster Expert huffed a laugh. 

"Anyway," Ed continued, "So your friend does what, annoy you and then measure how long it takes for you to snap?"

"Just about, yeah."

"Well, if you really want him to stop you could either just tell him how you are or sabotage the system by always reacting exactly the same way, no matter how short your fuse is that day."

"I might do that," Mystery Expert agreed.

* * *

"Hey, is that your mystery date?" Winry asked, head poking into the room. 

Ed shot her a glare and a rude guesture. 

"I'll take that as a yes," she said, "Anyway, dinner is in 15, so don't talk too long." And with that she was gone again.

"Sorry, don't mind-" Ed caught himself before he could give Winry's name, "-her, she thinks we're dating." Or rather she thought they should be dating with how much they called and texted. 

If Mystery Expert caught the pause he didn't show it. "Well, a lot of people around me do the same but that's because they think you're a woman. She does know I'm not, right?"

"She knows," Ed replied amused. 

Mystery Expert didn't reply immediately and Ed frowned until it dawned on him what he had just given away. Well, it wasn't as if he was quiet about his sexual orientation anyway. Not since Al was restored and the potential backlash couldn't impact their success any more.

"I never did ask but I take it you don't have a partner at home then?" Mystery Expert said before Ed could come up with some further explanation or something. At least he sounded normal, so no homophobia there. It was rare these days but one never knew. 

"Nah. My schedule is hard to put up with," Ed replied. Not to mention the guy would have to put up with the nightmares, with the alchemy obsession, the automail... He'd had a hand full of short flings on his journeys but his few attempts at something serious had gone downhill fast. "What about you? When you said you play up the womanizing I got the impression it was an eternal bachelor thing," Ed said. 

"That's me," Mystery Expert replied. 

"So why do you play it up?" If it was to hide his sexual orientation equivalent exchange meant now was the time to ask. 

He was met with another pause. And then: "Because people see it and take me for shallow and never look past it," Mystery Expert explained and after another beat: "That no-one realizes I'm bi doesn't hurt either."

"Huh," Ed replied, "I'm sorry you have to hide at all." He was so damn gratefull he didn't have to. Al had probably known before he did and Winry had taken it rather well when their try for a relationship fell apart before it could really take off. The media hadn't gotten wind of it yet but it was only a matter of time. Ed hadn't sworn any of his flings to secrecy after all so if one of those reporters decided to go digging...

"I'll live," Mystery Expert said drily, "Those who matter know."

Those who matter. And Ed was now apparently counted among them. The thought made warmth bubble in his stomach.

* * *

Ed hated when the weather changed. He hated it even more when it happened on a mission. Fighting with a shoulder and leg that were already acting up was not his favorite past time and it had made him miss a block he would otherwise have been able to make. Now he was sporting a black eye on top of everything else. 

Halfway to his hotel the clouds decided to open and drenched him in a matter of minutes, so now he could add cold and wet to his list of things that were wrong with this day. 

His phone rang, just as he finally reached his room.

"Hey," he greeted, fighting with the key card for a second before it finally beeped and let him in. 

"Hey yourself," Mystery Expert replied. 

"Give me a sec, I need to put you on speaker," Ed said. He did just that and then threw his phone on the bed, "So, what's up?"

"Not much," Mystery Expert replied, "Work was crazy."

"How so?" Ed asked back. He got out of his coat easy enough but the shirt was a different matter. He hissed when he lifted his arms. 

"Are you all right?"

Ed let out a quiet curse as he finally got the shirt over his head. "Sorry, just..." how the hell did he explain the automail? Because if Mystery Expert didn't already know that one would definitely give it away. "An old injury acting up. I hate when the weather changes."

"I'm sorry," Mystery Expert replied, "Do you want me to call another time?"

"Nah," Ed shook his head even though Mystery Expert wouldn't see it, "You're a good distraction. You were telling me about your day?" He painstakingly removed his trousers as well before grabbing a towel. 

"You know I'm usually only half seroius when I say they bury me in paperwork. I mean it's still a lot but today was way worse than normal. It's like they all banded together to create as much of it as possible. And not even relevant paperwork either, no."

Ed managed a real smile and decided dry clothes could wait until his shoulder was hurting less, so he climbed under the blanket and let Mystery Expert's voice wash over him.


	8. Figuring it Out

Ed leaned his head back, listening to the phone ring once, twice, three times. Then the line clicked and a male voice that was definitely not Mystery Expert answered. "Roy's phone, how can I help?"

Ed's eyes widened and he nearly hit the hang up button but at the last moment he redirected, covered the mic and thrust it in Winry's direction. 

"Say you are Eva, ask who it is and where Roy is!"

To Winry's credit, she didn't hesitate. "This is Eva. Who is this?" Winry asked and then put it on speaker. 

"Hello Eva, I'm Jean," the voice said and Ed's eyes widened when he realized the guy was trying for seductive. 

"Well then, Jean, care to tell me where Roy is?" Winry replied going for a chipper tone she wouldn't be caught dead using any other day. She made a face at Ed that Ed interpreted as 'You so owe me for this.'

Ed just nodded, still too stunned with the situation. What the fuck? As careful as Mystery Expert - Roy? - was with his secrets, losing his phone to someone who didn't know about Ed was worrying.

"He'll be back in a moment," the guy said, "I can keep you company while you wait?"

Ed shook his head rapidly. 

"Nah, I'll call back in a few," Winry said dutifully.

"A shame. I'll tell him you called." 

Winry hung up and then threw the phone at him. "What the hell, Ed?"

"Ow! What is it with you?" Ed shot back, barely managing to catch it, when it bounced off his shoulder.

"Your boyfriend apparently doesn't tell people you are you!" She glared at him.

"I told you he doesn't!"

"Well, it sounded funny last time!"

"That's not my fault it no longer is!"

They glared at each other until Al poked his head in. "What is it this time?"

"Nothing," Ed growled and left through the other door before one more person could butt in on this, even if it was Al. He needed to wrap his head around what had just happened and there was only so long he could force himself not to think this through.

He forewent his jacket and stormed out, up to where their house had been and further along the path to a tree he and Al had always wanted to climb when they'd been young. He sank down on its roots, shivering in the cold breeze.

His name was Roy. Ed closed his eyes and breathed. He had wondered who his conversation partner was. Of course he had. And with the clues he had... Well, he already knew the man was military. So he was either a State Alchemist or he had kept his alchemic knowledge on the down low. But considering how good the man kept up in discussions, considering he had known numbers for plasma based alchemy by heart, there was one option that made the most sense. It was also the one Ed had dismissed out of hand. There was no way the dork who was watching films with him, who knew how to cheer him up, who was intelligent, insightful and kind, even if he was an occasional bastard, was the same as Roy Mustang, the Flame Alchemist, heralded as a war hero for killing thousands of people. 

He felt sick. 

There was still a chance it wasn't true. There was more than one Roy out there. But how many of them in the military, stationed in Central, with extensive alchemical knowledge?

There was an easy way to check. There had to be some video out there of the Flame Alchemist talking. Ed would recognize his voice if he heard it. 

He pulled his phone out but didn't unlock it yet. A big part of him didn't want to know, wanted to keep the chance alive that this was someone else. 

What did he know about Roy Mustang? He was one of the more notable State Alchemists, maybe the most notable of the lot due to his power, closely followed by the Crimson Alchemist, the Iron-Blood Alchemist and the Strong Arm Alchemist. Right up there with Ed himself and what were the chances that he'd accidentally dial this number of all possiblities?

What else? Career military, in other words not just in the program to get access to the labs and library.

A womanizer. 

'I play up the womanizing image,' shot through Ed's mind but he pushed it aside with a growl. 

It was not the Flame Alchemist. He was going to prove it. 

He unlocked the phone and typed Roy Mustang into AmestrisTube, scrolling through the videos that came up until he found one that promised to show more than fancy fire play. It was from a press coverage of something or other Ed couldn't be bothered to care about right now. He held his breath when he hit play.

"The problem is contained," a familiar, smooth voice stated, easily carrying over the background noise, "The killer was caught."

Ed threw his phone.

* * *

Al found him half an hour later, brought him a coat and picked his phone up from the ground before settling down beside him. 

"You'll catch a cold out here, sitting with me," Ed protested.

"And you won't?" Al replied, "At least I'm wearing a coat."

Ed huffed and looked away, not willing to say how grateful he was for the additional warmth. 

For a while Al allowed the silence between them, long enough for Ed to believe that maybe he wouldn't have to explain what had driven him out here but finally Al spoke up.

"So I take it you came to the same conclusion as Winry and I."

Ed sighed. "Roy. As in Roy Mustang, Flame Alchemist."

"And since you threw your phone, you probably confirmed it," Al said. 

Ed didn't even need to agree to that, Al knew him too well and when silence settled again, Ed was the one to break it. "I liked him," he said, "Enough that I was sick of lying to him about who I am. I was ready to tell him."

"And now you won't," Al stated, no expression on his face. Ed wasn't sure if it was a remnant of the armor Al slipped back into or a calculated way to stay neutral but now was not the time to ask.

"I can't. With someone further down on the ladder it wouldn't have mattered but he's not just military. He's career military. When I tell him, I will not be just a friend any longer, I become an asset."

"And once you are out?" Al asked, "Could you tell him then?" Still nothing to betray what he thought about any of this. 

"I don't know," Ed muttered, "I don't... I thought I knew him, all right. And now I don't know anything. Which parts are the front and which are him. Are both him? Neither? Because the guy I discuss alchemy with is not the same guy as that arrogant bastard with a penchant for flashy alchemy and women."

"Do you want to break contact?" Al asked next. 

Ed hesitated. Did he want to break contact with Roy Mustang, Flame Alchemist? Hell yes. With Mystery Expert though? No. He liked Mystery Expert. Which was the crux of the matter. 

"What would you do?" he finally asked.

"If you are not sure? Don't tell him you know, keep up the contact with this new perspective of who he is and then see how you feel about it in a week or two."

Would that help? Well, it probably wouldn't hurt. "Thanks, Al," he said, "I think I will."


	9. Letting Things Settle

In the end Ed wrote, _I tried calling earlier but got some stranger. Might not be able to talk later. Hear you tomorrow?_

That gave him at least the night to wrap his head around things before having to talk to Mystery Expert without letting on that he knew. 

_All right, until tomorrow, stay safe_ Mystery Expert, no, Roy Mustang wrote back. 

Ed slept miserably and he couldn't even text his friend to see if he was awake too because in a way Mystery Expert was gone. Roy Mustang had taken his place. Fuck it all.

* * *

By the time Mystery Expert called the next day Ed had probably watched too many videos of Roy Mustang, read too many gossip columns and was no closer to wrapping his head around any of this than he'd been the day before. 

"Hi," he greeted anyway, "Just a sec."

If he had to have this conversation he was not going to have it with Al and Winry more or less subtly listening in. 

"Bad time?" Mystery Expert asked.

"No, just want to get out of the kitchen for this," Ed replied and took the stairs two at a time before closing the door to his and Al's room behind him. "All right, now we can talk."

"All right. Hi," Mystery Expert greeted and there was a laugh hidden in his voice.

"Hi," Ed replied amused. Then he remembered the last phone call and sobered, "I tried calling yesterday. Is everything all right?" Another thought occurred. If this Jean had told Mustang about the call then Mustang probably knew that Ed knew. 

"A minor emergency but I didn't have time to grab my jacket," Mustang said, sounding a bit more guarded. But even now he didn't sound like he did in the videos. Not smug, not superior, not too damn casual for the situation. The voice was right but not in a single video had Mustang's tone been like it was with Ed. Not even on the really bad nights when his voice sounded sharp and clipped.

"That explains it," Ed replied and then scrambled to find something else to say before silence could stretch. That used to be so easy but now he wasn't sure of anything, not even his own perception of things.

"To be honest, when he said he spoke to you, I expected the bluff that you are a woman was up but he never said anything. How did you manage that?"

"Advantage of having my best friend on hand when it happened," Ed replied.

"Is that the one you constantly argue with but still think the world off?" Mustang replied. Was it really Mustang though? If he followed the thought that Mystery Expert was his friend all the way through then Mustang was too. So shouldn't he think of him as Roy then? 

"That's her. And for the record, she threw the phone at me when she was finished," Ed said and slowly felt himself relax. This might be Roy Mustang but his voice was familiar after so many calls and talking to him was second nature. He tested the name out in his mind. Roy. All right then. 

"Sounds violent," Roy replied. Amusement colored his voice. 

"Says the guy who wants to strangle his best friend on a nearly weekly basis," Ed shot back with a grin. 

He settled back on his bed and let the last of the tension drain out of him. This wasn't over but for now he'd do what Al said. Wait and see.

* * *

Two days later found Ed on a train, bored after he and Al had split up, Al going back to Teacher and Ed heading to East City to get the debrief for yet another mission. After a few moments of indecision Ed opened the old messages from Mystery Expert and replayed them in his head, imagining how he would sound when he'd say them, what tone he'd use. He tried to imagine what expressions he'd make.

It hadn't been a full week yet but it had been so easy to treat the man like he'd treated Mystery Expert. It was the same man. Still a dork. Still a brilliant alchemist. Still fun and occasionally charming. Still a bastard sometimes.

Ed couldn't get his impression of Mustang to match the man he had gotten to know. Roy had hinted at using smokescreens and misdirection but the level Ed was seeing here was insane and a little bit terrifying. Ed didn't do masks and mirrors. He preferred being up front and a pain in the ass but he could still appreciate that no-one would see Mustang coming unless they got a much closer look. 

The train screeched as breaks hit and Ed found himself crashing into the opposing seat. By the time he had managed to pick himself up, made sure that the only thing he'd suffered was another set of bruises and crawled under his seat to pick up his phone, the door opened. 

"Nobody move, give us all your valuables and money and no-one has to be hurt!"

You have got to be kidding me, Ed thought before using the cover of still being under his seat to clap and transfigure the ground into prison walls. 

He reached East City two hours late, thoroughly annoyed. Another two hours later found him on his actual mission. Ed crashed through a window, glass raining down around him and landed in a crouch, automail taking the brunt of the impact, so he wouldn't cut his flesh hand on the shards. He was nearly blinded by a flash of light and he made to doge out of the way of another attack until he realized that the light wasn't alchemic blue but white. And that there were reporters at the edge of the building behind a thin line of soldiers trying to hold them back. Fucking hell. 

But he didn't have time. "Get back. This thing's about to blow!" he shouted and tried to convince his knee that he needed to get up, no matter how much it hurt. It took an entirely too long second to get fully up and then he ran for the cordon. 

The idiot alchemist had decided he wanted to be the Black Powder Alchemist and had the stuff all over his cellar for his experiments. Ed had no idea what the blast range was going to be but that fight hadn't left things undisturbed. At least the soldiers, few as they were, tried to herd the reporters and curious civilians away.

Ed didn't even make it three steps before the ground buckled beneath his feet. He was thrown forward and a loud boom nearly deafened him. 

It took him a second to determine that he was alive and mostly in one peace. Or at least not much worse off than he had been before the explosion. Didn't mean that he didn't hurt plenty, just that it wasn't serious. 

With a curse he got as far as his knees before he decided that was far enough and other people could damn well handle the rest. He didn't look back to the rubble of the house, didn't want to see the fire licking at it. Didn't want to know that somewhere under that the Black Powder Alchemist had stayed behind to grab his precious research, paying for it with his life. Ed hated days like this. 

Light flashed again but Ed was too tired to do something about that either. In the distance he could hear sirens. 

It took him a while to realize the muted sound he could hear over the ringing in his ears was his phone. 

"You are on TV," Al greeted him, barely audible over the persistent ringing. 

"Shit," Ed muttered, "Well, at least you can see I'm fine."

"Are you?" Al asked. 

"Some bruises and cuts, nothing serious, I promise," Ed replied, "But I'll make sure I get to come your way soon as I can."

"See that you do and don't forget to call Winry some time."

"Yeah, yeah. Give my best to Teacher," Ed replied, "I think my ride is here."

"Take care," Al said and Ed nodded and hung up. He wanted to be out of here, get a shower and then watch a film, banter with Roy for a little bit and then go to sleep. If he was lucky he might even get by without a nightmare for once. 

Oh hell, who was he kidding?


	10. The Official Revelation

_Clouds aren't fluffy. Why are these?_

He got an answer nearly immediately and felt a grin spread on his face. It was nice having Mystery Roy. He liked having a friend. Good friend. Oh, he should probably read that. _No idea. Why?_

_Leaning on one. I think. Or a pillow but also not. Is this_

He glanced up when light reflected in from the corridor but it wasn't Al so he leaned back more firmly against the cloudy not pillow. Or pillowy not cloud? When he looked down he'd apparently sent the message. Huh. Time skip. Was time alchemy a thing? Maybe if he found a good symbol. He needed paper. Something to write. And an answer from his favorite Mystery Roy.

Instead of an answer the phone rang.

Ed giggled and took the call. "Mystery Expert!" he greeted. 

"Are you all right?" Roy answered. 

"Yes," Ed said and nodded before he remembered that Roy couldn't see that. "I nodded too."

"Are you drunk?" Roy asked. 

"Noooo," Ed replied and then giggled. 

"Are you high?" 

"Yessssss!" Ed said, "But don't worry. It's allowed. They gave me the good stuff, I can't feel a thing!"

"Except clouds?" he sounded funny. Well not funny. Tense. That was wrong. 

"Pillowy not clouds," Ed agreed.

"Are you all right?" Roy asked. 

Ed paused. Then shook his head. "They gave me the good stuff, Roy, I don't like when they give me the good stuff. Makes me loopy."

"Do you have someone with you?" Roy asked, still tense. Still not good. Ed liked the warm tones better.

"Al's here. Well no, Al's downstairs making people feel bad about their life choices, just by looking sad."

"Good, that's good. But as much as I like talking to you, I don't think you have any kind of filter right now and you'll be really upset if you tell me something I should not know. The best thing you can do is sleep it off."

"Stay on until Al comes back?" Ed asked. "I can not talk. Hear me not talking. Is there a verb for that?"

"Being silent?" Roy suggested.

"No. That's from to be. That needs its own verb. Aerugo has a word for it, why don't we?"

"I don't know." Roy's voice was warm. That was better. So much better. 

"'s better." He nodded for extra emphasis.

"How about I tell you about my day?" Roy's voice was softer now. Soft was also good and Ed could listen to that voice all day. He didn't say that though. He promised to be silent.

* * *

When Ed woke he was sober enough to recognize that he was in no state to make phone calls, even if he could not remember much of the one he had apparently made. 

Instead he wrote, _Recovering, sorry about that call, I'll call when I'm in my right mind_

He got an _Are you ever?_ and a winking smiley in return and even with his side hurting and his head still doing stupid stuff he had to grin. 

_Bastard!_

The next smiley was grinning and Ed answered with one that poked its tongue out. If anyone asked he'd blame it on the drugs. Speaking of, the next time the doctors came he declined new ones. What did they know? Automail surgery hurt more than this.

* * *

He had been right, automail surgery was worse but that didn't mean this was a picknick. Still better than being loopy though, so he counted it as a win and once Al had gone back to the hotel to sleep Ed pulled his phone out and called Roy. 

"Hi there," he greeted.

"It's good to hear you," Roy replied, "You had me worried. What happened?"

"I got shot," Ed replied with a grimace, "Also sorry. About the worrying. And the phone call. I don't actually remember much of that."

There was a pause and Ed tensed. What the hell had he said?

And then: "You called me Roy."

"Oh." In hindsight that made sense. Drugs meant no filter. And no filter meant not remembering to keep calling him Mystery Expert.

"You know who I am," Roy said. 

"As if you haven't figured out who I am," Ed replied with a sigh. At this point he'd kind of assumed that someone as clever as Roy would have at least a strong suspicion.

There was a pause on the other end. And then "Edward Elric." 

"Just Ed will do fine, thanks," Ed said, and then, out of curiosity, "When did you figure it out?"

"Few weeks back you ended up on TV. I heard your voice," Roy replied, "In hindsight it was kind of obvious but..."

"But what are the chances?" Ed said with a grin, "Yeah, that one tripped me too. Now that I think about it, the fact that neither of us gave even a first name was a dead giveaway that it was recognizable but I was too busy not giving mine to realize the significance."

"Something like that," Roy replied and he sounded tense, "When did you figure it out?"

"Blame Jean. He answered your phone with the words, 'Roy's phone, how can I help.' That made it kind of hard to keep dismissing you as an option."

"I'm going to kill him," Roy said.

"Don't use fire, or you're going to be the main suspect," Ed said with a laugh but then hissed as pain flared up bright and hot. "Fuck. Ow. Don't make me laugh right now."

"How bad is it?" Roy asked. 

"Straight through and didn't hit anything important but it's still a tunnel right through my body and I declined the good pain meds, so no more laughing."

"I'll do my best not to be too witty," Roy said deadpan. 

Ed snorted and then cursed as that tugged at his wound too. "What did I just say?"

"And I agreed with you," Roy said and for the first time since the reveal there was humor in his voice, so maybe things were going to be okay. Ed would rather know for sure though.

"So, is this going to be a problem? Me knowing who you are, you knowing who I am."

Roy didn't answer immediatly and Ed tensed. And then finally: "No."

Ed decided to take that at face value and let it go. "Good. In that case, anything new in alchemy worth discussing? Because I'm not keen on going to sleep right now." Or rather, he wasn't keen on the moment of waking when he would shoot up, ready to clap. That move would hurt like fuck. The later he went to bed, the more likely it was that Al would wake him instead of him waking on his own.

"Well, second branch is trying to alchemize a moss that can be used as a life filter for car exhaust," Roy offered.

Ed grinned. He could work with that.


	11. A New Balance

For all that Roy had said it wasn't a problem, it took a few days until the man didn't sound like he waited for the other shoe to drop.

Ed just did what he had done when he first figured out who he was talking to. He powered on until the familiarity of the situation overwrote his lingering doubts.

He gave it a few days, days he mostly used for working on his alchemy projects, considering moving fucking well hurt, before asking something he had wanted to know since he had figured out he was talking to the Flame Alchemist. And since he was bored and Roy probably home, he called.

"You are aiming to be Fuhrer, aren't you?" Ed said instead of a greeting. 

Roy started coughing and Ed felt torn between amusement and worry. "Roy?"

"Warn me next time," Roy finally got out, "I just inhaled my coffee."

"That's a waste of perfectly good caffeine," Ed shot back, "Besides all I did was ask if you were aiming to be Fuhrer."

"What makes you say that?" Roy replied and Ed could hear the caution in his tone.

"You try your hardest to climb the ranks but I think I know you enough to say that you don't do it for your own gain. Not to mention, you don't like the military." Okay so that last one was a guess but Roy had always been just a little too neutral in his opinions on that front. "That doesn't leave all that many reasons to go to this much trouble. I'm guessing you want the power to change something but there is only one position that would allow you to push back against the traditionalists, especially considering our current Fuhrer is the most traditionalist of them all." 

What exactly Roy was looking to do Ed wasn't sure, but with what he knew of the man he wasn't worried. 

"Well, at least you need to know me to get to that conclusion," Roy said, sounding a little more relaxed, "Please be careful who you tell about that." Who, besides Al, did he think Ed was going to tell?

"Don't worry, it might not look like it but I do know how this game is played," Ed replied, "How do you think I get away with this much shit without consequences?" Or rather without severe consequences. They'd cut his funding more than once and that one officer in the south had thrown him into his holding cells for two days but beyond that he'd perfected how much he could push, how open he could be about his stance on the military.

"Point," Roy agreed. 

"So, what will you do once you sit on the throne?"

There was a short pause and then: "Tear it down," Roy replied.

Ed grinned. "I knew I liked you for a reason."

* * *

"You should give us Roy's number, just in case," Al said, "He'll want to know if you end up in the hospital again."

"I don't end up in the hospital that often," Ed replied with an eye roll but he texted them the number anyway because Al had a point.

"And give our numbers to him, so he at least knows who is trying to contact him."

"Fine," Ed grumbled. He labeled the numbers Al and Win and sent them over to Roy. 

It was early evening before he got an answer. 

_Tell them they are now Evelina and Evelyn_

Ed blinked. Seriously? He called because why tease via text if he could do it over the phone instead. 

"Are all of your contacts girls names?" he asked, the second the line clicked.

"Hello to you too," Roy replied amused. 

"Hi," Ed replied with a grin, "Now tell me."

He could practically hear the smile in Roy's voice as he answered. "Most of them. Except for the ones I'm supposed to be in contact with anyway."

He wasn't sure if Roy was overly paranoid or just sensible but he shrugged it off. It wasn't his problem.

"So Al's Evelina?" Ed guessed, mostly because it ended in an a.

"Yes," Roy agreed, "By the way, is Win the girl you argue with?"

Huh. After Roy had figured out who he was Ed had never thought about the fact that his own name wasn't the only one he had kept from the man. 

"Winry," Ed clarified, "She's been our friend since childhood and also-" For a moment he hesitated but Roy knew who he was, so the automail would not be a surprise. "She's my automail mechanic."

Something rustled in the background before Roy answered. "Can I ask what happened?"

Ed froze. On the one hand he trusted Roy. On the other hand... even apart from how personal that was, how much it still hurt, he'd also be confessing a serious crime. He couldn't do that. Not... not yet. But he also didn't want to lie or dodge the question, so he'd just take a leaf out of Roy's book. Total truth devoid of most information: "I lost control of an array."

It only then dawned on him that a lack of information meant more questions. Ed mentally cursed but then Roy spoke up again: "I used to burn my fingers before I figured out how to control my alchemy. I don't actually have much feeling in most of my fingertips."

Ed blinked stunned before his mind caught up with the words. Of course the man would have been a dumbass. "Figures." At least he didn't seem to still be doing it. He hesitated but it wouldn't hurt to say it: "Just be more careful in the future."

He could hear the smile in Roy's voice when he answered: "You too."

* * *

All in all the nightmare could probably have been worse, would have been worse if the drunk guy out on the street hadn't made enough of a ruckus to wake him. He still wasn't keen on going back to sleep. 

He sent _Are you awake?_ but half expected the answer to be no. Roy might have more bad nights than Ed had but even then that didn't necessarily mean their nights matched. He just decided that he was well enough to work on the chimera reversal array when his phone rang. Mystery Expert. Roy. 

He smiled. "I take it you are up."

A heartbeat of silence. Another. And another. "Roy?" 

There was barely heard rustling on the other end of the line and there really were only two explanations. Either Roy had called on accident, which was highly unlikely, or... "That bad, huh?"

That got him an exhale of breath, just loud enough to be picked up by the speakers. 

Fuck. Ed wasn't sure what to do with that. If Roy had ever been in that mood when they'd only been texting he hadn't realized. "You want me to just talk for a while?" Because if Roy wanted to talk he would already be talking. 

He didn't get an answer and mentally shook his head. Roy hadn't talked so far, what had he expected? "You can just tap your phone for yes instead of answering."

More silence and Ed tried to come up with something else until: "I can talk." Roy sounded rough.

"All right," Ed agreed, "Do you want to?"

More silence, then: "No."

Ed took a deep breath, trying to keep his emotions steady against the abyss that Roy's mood felt like. Usually they held each other up but right now, well... He needed to come up with something and fast.

"How about I give you something else to think about? I know you are curious about me. Ever wonder what I'm doing in the military?"

He got a sound that might have been affirmation.

"Here is a clue: Me and Al do everything together." It wasn't much of a clue but if Ed didn't make it a challenge this wouldn't work. Besides he still wasn't entirely sure how much he wanted Roy to know. "I'm going to stay on the line. Take your time, try to figure it out. I'll tell you if you got it right."

He'd work on alchemy while Roy thought about it. He didn't mind helping like this but he was still glad this had happened on a relatively mild night for him, otherwise they'd both be screwed. They'd need to figure this out once they were both at the top of their game. Not now though. Now he'd settle his own head with alchemy and hope that the distraction would settle Roy as well.

He looked at his half completed array. The biggest problem was remaking the brain. Little things off with the body could be worked around but the brain had to be perfect. He had read a theory that information could not be destroyed but that didn't mean it could not still easily scatter beyond his reach. The more time passed between the creation of the chimera and his try at reversing it the worse it would get.

That left creating a generic human brain instead with as much memory as the chimera still held. Depending on what kind of chimera it was, that might as well mean a total memory loss. 

And even then this was still so damn close to human transmutation that he couldn't even tell where the line was. How come chimera alchemists never had to pay for their sins? Was it because they didn't try to call souls back from the beyond? 

"You were looking into medical alchemy," Roy said.

Ed exhaled sharply. Fuck. He hadn't expected that. Not so soon. Not without at least another hint. "Damn, you're good." He took a breath. "Yes, we did."

"Because you weren't the only one hurt in that rebound," Roy added quietly.

Ed closed his eyes and the scene was right there. His leg was on fire, a grotesque figure moved in the centre of their transmutation, his head bursting with information, but worst of all was seeing Al reaching for him, even as he was turning to dust, eyes full of fear.

When he lifted his hand to pull his bangs away from his eyes it was shaking. 

"Yeah." He wasn't sure how he managed to get that out without his voice shaking too. He took a breath and pictured Al as he was now, short golden hair, wide smile, the way he looked when he tried Winry's pie. 

That had been a bad idea. Distracting Roy was one thing but now Ed was starting to slip. Not to mention if he wanted Roy in a better mood, following this tale to its conclusion was not the way to go.

"Is that why you can't leave the military?" Roy asked. 

Ed took another deep breath. "No. We found what we needed. Just have to wait out my contract."

A beat of silence and then: "The armor was automail, wasn't it?"

Ed blinked and then snorted. He could just see Winry's face at that suggestion. Actually he didn't need to imagine it, he'd tell her the next time they were face to face. "Close enough."

He took a shaky breath, quiet as he could. "No more questions tonight. I'll tell you eventually, just, not now."

A beat of silence and then: "I'm sorry." 

Because of course Roy would pick up that there was a problem. Ed huffed out a laugh. "You were grasping for a life line. I wasn't exactly thrilled but you managed to find a night where I could handle it."

The next word was more like a sigh: "Okay."

"All right. Are you up for an alchemy discussion?"

A beat of silence. And then: "Yeah."

Ed breathed. Al had once given him a list of other alchemy to work on on bad nights. Alchemy which didn't mess with his head, mostly because it was silly. "So how about we figure out how to boil an egg with alchemy?"

A snort on the other end. "Where did that come from?"

"Al's endless wisdom for managing bad nights," Ed replied. 

"All right. Do you want to heat it or transmute the egg white and yolk?"


	12. The New Normal

Ed was using his phone as a torch, trying to figure out how best to alchemize himself out of the mess he had gotten himself in when his phone rang. Ed blinked in surprise. How did he even have reception? Whatever. He picked up and put it on speaker so he could continue looking around.

"I'm a bit busy," he greeted, suppressing a cough.

"With what?" Roy replied. 

Ed glanced around at the dust and debris on all sides and precariously balanced over his head, held back only by the stone supports he had alchemized around himself when the building had started to fall. "Just some work, hang on a second."

He balanced the phone on his knee, then focused on an array. Up or down? Down would take longer. Up it was. 

He clapped and alchemized some of the rubble outside his safe space into more supports, hoping he could tunnel up like that without being burried.

Something shifted and the next second everything was moving, dust billowed up and Ed caughed. Fuck. "Fuck." This might take a while.

"Ed?" Roy asked. Oh right, he was still on the phone.

"Yes, sorry, you were saying?"

"Tell me you were not in that building," Roy said.

"Depends on the building," Ed said hoping against hope they were not talking about the same building. Then coughted again and it took a few seconds until he managed to stop. He had to do something about the dust first. Well, that was another coat ruined. He clapped and touched his sleeve and then turned it into a mask. 

"The collapsed building I'm currently watching on live TV," Roy said, voice clipped.

"Oh, fuck," Ed muttered. That meant Al and Winry had probably seen it too. "All right, I'm not gonna lie and say I wasn't in there but I'm perfectly fine."

There was silence on the other end. "Look, I gotta go. I need to alchemize my way out of here. I'll call you once I'm no longer buried."

"Yeah, all right. Anything I can do?"

"You can tell Al that I'm fine," Ed replied, "He probably saw too."

"I'll do that," Roy said and there was something in his voice but Ed had more important things to worry about. 

"I'll talk to you later," Ed said, and then: "I promise."

"I'll hold you to that."

Ed nodded, took a breath through the damn mask that didn't feel nearly deep enough, forced himself not to panic at that. He ended the call and surveyed the building again. He could try the small steps again. For all that everything had shifted when he'd alchemized the support, it had held up, forming the first part of a tunnel. But that also meant small steps, more shifting, more dust. 

Or he could go all out, alchemize the whole pile of rubble at once. It was not his best idea. The more power he showed, the less happy the military would be to let him go. If he decided to go that was. He still hadn't made that decision even if there were only weeks left to decide.

Right, building to get out of first and he'd do it step by step. He moved into the space he had created with the last transmutation, made sure nothing could fall on him if things started to shift again and then alchemized a new support. This was going to take a while.

* * *

He called Al first but right after that he called Roy. 

It only rang once. "Ed!"

"Yeah, that's me. You probably saw on TV but I really am fine," Ed said.

"Good," Roy replied.

"You sound exhausted," Ed replied, "I guess you didn't have the best day either."

"I served with the Crimson Alchemist. I've seen the damage a collapsed building can do," Roy replied.

Ed swallowed. "Shit, I'm sorry. I didn't think I'd need to hurry." The thought hadn't crossed his mind.

"Because I didn't tell you," Roy reminded him.

Because Roy hadn't known he could be faster, Ed mentally corrected, but it was too late to do anything about it either way. "Anything I can do?"

"Not right now, no," Roy replied, "I have Riza here to make sure I'm fine."

Riza. The one who was the real boss in the office. "Tell her hello," Ed said.

"Will do. We'll talk later. Get some sleep."

"I'll try." Though there was a fifty-fifty chance on the nightmare front. This hadn't really triggered anything but dark and enclosed wasn't his favorite either.

The line clicked and Ed was left feeling a little off kilter and a lot tired. He weighed his options but didn't even need to see the train schedule to know there was no chance he'd make it even close to East City to make his report. Fine. Another hotel stay it was. 

Maybe he'd take a look at that old Star Trek series Roy liked to watch when Ed wasn't awake.

* * *

"You've been quiet the last few days. Is something up?"

Ed sighed. "The end of my contract is coming up."

"Is that good or bad?" Roy asked, managing to sound perfectly neutral even if Ed knew Roy had an oppinion on that. Everyone had an oppinion on that.

Good or bad? That really was the million cenz question, wasn't it? He should get out. Staying was dangerous, between his mental health, the constant threat of war and asshole generals with the ability to make his life hell if he moved too far out of line he really should get out. But...

"I don't know," Ed replied, "I still don't know what to do, whether to stay or get out."

Roy made a noncommital hum. And then: "Why don't you take a year off? It's not as if the military won't take you back with open arms if that's what you decide afterwards."

Ed closed his eyes and let that sink in. He had known what Al would have said because Al wanted him out. Everyone wanted him out of the military. In a way Ed wanted out too, but... there had always been that but. And now Roy had given him an answer he could actually live with. 

He didn't say it often but this warranted it. "Thank you." It would give him a chance to see how things fared without him, would give him a chance to actually breathe for a while and concentrate on his family. For once he wouldn't have to watch his back quite that closely. And if things went to hell he could still change his mind. 

"You're welcome," Roy replied, his voice warm, making Ed smile in return. He felt lighter than he had in weeks. 

Maybe things were going to be fine after all.


	13. Admitting Interest

"So, now that you both know, when do we get to meet your boyfriend in person?" Winry asked. 

"He's not my boyfriend," Ed said with an eye roll. The protest was mostly for show. He'd given up on getting her to stop referring to Roy that way.

"Ed, you two are talking nearly every day. You are my best friend and we don't talk that often."

"I talk to Al that often," Ed protested. 

"Yeah, but that's because you two grew up in each others pockets and don't really know how to function without the other. You don't have that excuse with your Mystery Expert."

Ed was silent. All right, so he and Al were a little co-dependent, whereas the thing with Roy had nothing to do with dependency but everything to do with want. He wanted to hear his voice, wanted to tell him about his day. Wanted... yeah okay, Winry had a point. Fuck. Still...

"It's not that easy, even if he feels the same way." 

"He calls you as often as you call him. What does that tell you about what he wants?"

"All right, so he possibly likes me that way, it's still not that easy. The man lives in a world of masks and mirrors and one of those masks is a big sign saying womanizing playboy."

Now it was Winry's turn to be silent. And then: "But that's not fair."

Ed sighed. It wasn't fair. He liked Roy. To be perfectly honest he more than liked him. The way Roy could make him feel warm wasn't even new. He'd just dismissed it, because if he couldn't have this then it was better to ignore it until it went away. Even if that hadn't worked so far. 

"Could you keep it a secret?" Winry asked but then shook her head, "Possibly, but that's not fair either, is it? No public affection. Always looking over your shoulder for spies or reporters. And he'd still have to keep up dating girls to keep the image..."

"Maybe figure out if you work at all before worrying about the logistics," Al suggested. When had he come in? "Maybe you don't work and all this worrying is for nothing."

"Fuck," Ed muttered. He didn't want to upset the balance they had. But he also really wanted to see where they could go, no matter how complicated they got. And he'd better clear this up now before he could think up reasons why this was a bad idea. 

"I'll be right back," he said and pulled his phone out. 

_Now a good time to call?_

_Just a sec_ Roy replied and Ed used the time to grab his coat and walk out into the fields. He did not need an audience for this, no matter how it went.

Five minutes later his phone rang. 

"Hey."

"Hello there," Roy greeted, "What can I do for you?"

"Winry pointed out the elephant in the room, so I thought I'd share the misfortune," Ed said.

"Oh," Roy said, "And I'd hoped it was something nicer."

"Could still be. Kind of depends on what you make of the elephant."

"Ed..." Roy said hesitantly but Ed talked right over him.

"So I like you. Like, I really like you. And maybe you feel the same, or maybe I read that wrong. And either way, you have an image to maintain. So there. Big elephant."

There was a long beat of silence in which Ed resolutely didn't think about anything, but he could still hear his heart pounding like mad.

And then: "You have no concept of beating around the bush and easing into things, have you?"

"Where is the fun in that?" Ed replied but at this point the banter was more on auto pilot. Fuck. He'd take fighting an alchemist over this any day. 

There was a beat of silence on the other end and then: "I want that, God, Ed I want that, but..."

"Yeah. But." Ed closed his eyes. Al's advice had merit but only to him. It wouldn't help Roy at all because Roy needed plans and contingencies and Ed didn't know enough about the kinds of politics Roy played to help figure out how to get around this. 

"I'm not sure we can do this," Roy replied, "I just... I need to think about this."

"All right," Ed replied, forcing himself to ignore his sinking stomach. The problem with thinking about feelings was that logic got in on the action. And risking this was not logical.

And then there was nothing more to say and Ed hated it, so he did the only thing he could think of. He hung up.

He regretted that decision a moment later because that sure wasn't the mature thing to do. 

His phone vibrated. _Ed?_

Ed closed his eyes but didn't hesitate to answer. _Sorry._

He didn't even have a good excuse besides being unsure of the situation and absolutely hating it. More than anything he wanted the ease between them back. He wasn't sure how to put that into words though without sounding stupid, so he did the next best thing: _I'm not losing our friendship over this!_

His phone chimed again: _Good!_

Ed managed a smile.

* * *

Winry took one look at him when he came back and then hugged him tight. "It didn't go well?"

"He likes me," Ed replied and then snorted because that sounded like he was five years old. "Doesn't mean we can do something about it."

"I'm sorry," Winry said. 

Ed just shook his head and stepped back. He didn't want to talk about it. Didn't even want to think about it but it wasn't as if he got a choice about the latter. He was always thinking about Roy these days.

Al watched him from his place at the table but then smiled. "Come on, there's still an hour till dinner. Let's sparr."

Ed felt his shoulders loosen. "You think teacher got you up to beating me already?"

Al gave one of his rare evil grins. "Why don't you find out?"

Winry rolled her eyes and shook her head. "Boys."

* * *

It was past dinner when his phone drummed. 

For a whole twenty seconds Ed hesitated to even look who it was but then he shook himself. This was stupid. If he wanted to keep their friendship he had to start acting like it too, no matter how much he didn't want to hear a no.

_Now a good time to talk?_

He took a deep breath, let it out. Then did it again for good measure and finally hit the call button.

"Hi," Roy greeted him. 

"Hi," Ed replied, and because he had no idea how else to start: "How are you doing?"

"Fine. Good," Roy said. Ed frowned. Roy was usually a little more eloquent than that. Also fuck that awkwardness.

"Good. Me too. Well, a few bruises maybe. Al won our sparring contest two out of three. I swear he's done some extra training on the sly."

"You already got a reputation, Fullmetal, I shudder to think what someone who's even better than you is capable of," Roy replied. 

"Hah," Ed laughed, "Finally someone who gets it. Everyone thinks I'm the one you have to watch out for, that Al's the nice one, but he really isn't." It was all the politeness and smiles probably. Ed could admit that his personality was occasionally a little abrasive but when push came to shove Ed's anger was loud and explosive and then burned itself out just as fast as it had come. Al on the other hand could be all simmering rage. 

"I'll take your word for it," Roy said and he sounded amused but his next sentence sounded entirely serious: "I thought about it."

Just like that Ed's stomach lurched. He had no doubt what Roy was talking about. It felt like his whole body was buzzing with energy that had nowhere to go. And then finally: "We can do this. I have no idea how yet but-" A beat of silence, "I want to meet you."

Ed let out the breath he hadn't even realized he'd been holding. "So, it's a date?" He couldn't quite believe his luck. 

"It's a date."

Ed grinned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, first, let me wish you a merry Christmas if you celebrate or a nice day if you don't.  
> Second: Thank you so much to all of you who commented, I was blown away with how much people cared about this little story.   
> Thirdly: This is not the end. Next up will be Roy's side of the story and after that (if the muse stops being difficult about it) some time stamps, including that first face to face meeting everyone wanted to see.


End file.
